scared and frightened...but trusting God to help me through

I've always had a deep and dispassionate hate for change. The whole "change" slogan that Obama tries to get going...I hate it. Whenever I think of change I think of saddness and sorrow, and that brings despair and much worry to my troubled heart. And now I have to go through a huge change that is going to literally change my life (no pun intended).

I have to go to a public school.

Say what?!

Yeah...next semester I'm going either to Clovis High or Clovis East. Since I am in the Clovis East district I will have to do a 'district transfer' in order to be able to go to Clovis High. I'm so scared. This morning I woke up with my stomach hurting so bad I thought I had stomach ulcers. I think I'm going to get them if I'm not careful. I'm frightened.

I don't want to leave. I don't want anybody to leave. I love the fellowship of Clovis Christian, but honestly I'm not getting a good enough education. Plus it's expensive. So here I am on the rode leading to the unknown. I can't see what's ahead of me...I hate that. I like knowing the future, knowing what's going to happen and being informed about my life. I hate not knowing, not having the slightest idea of what will happen to me. Sure I have guesses...but none of them I can truly deem as accurate. Because I do not know.

I hate not knowing. I hate change. I need prayer.

This year has been amazing. I feel I've grown closer to two very special people at school. One of them is a person I will gladly talk about on here because I know she will read it and I want her to see it. The other person most can probably guess, but since he won't likely read it...I won't post anything.

Rachel: I love you more than you can ever imagine. I feel like a sappy soap opera in saying that, but tis' true. I feel that I have grown so close to you this year and I do not want to loose the friendship we have found. No matter what people say and no matter what you may think, always remember that you are a beautiful girl whose life is very valuable in the eyes of those who truly love you. I have come to love you in a way that I honestly never thought possible could happen between us. Our friendship has expanded beyond measure and I feel that I can trust you with my thoughts. That's a high honor, ps.
I love you.

I've made so many memories this year...and I hate saying goodbye to those I love. But I know there's still youth group, and I know that texting is definitely still available. But I will honestly, truly miss the small family that I found in Clovis Christian.

Don't know what else to say...don't really want to say anything else.

Love,
Becca