Ramblings about Me

Have you ever made some really big decisions inside your heart and you're totally not sure if they will work out or not but you really really really want to trust God because you know that His will is far better than your own and that if you don't trust Him and try to take things into your own hands NOTHING will work out because whenever you tried that before NOTHING worked out????


*breathes*


Life decisions are annoying.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm all alone in this world. But then I look up and can feel God smiling at me as He whispers in my ear, "No you're not."

Lots of my posts are about trusting God. Why? Because that is something that I struggle with. Sometimes I have these moments though where God just tells me something amazing about trust Him. Sometimes I write it down. Sometimes I don't. But it's the times I do that prove just how much I need His loving hand to guide me.

I worry a lot about everything. Well, everything that's important. I wish I could state what it is, but then I'd totally be revealing my inner secrets that I usually only share with God.

Sometimes I feel as if nobody cares. As if no one would ever want to listen to my complaints, doubts, and fears.

God cares.

I like to vent to people. It helps releave stress. Venting includes a number of ways: talking would be an obvious one. Hugging is a not so obvious. When I hug people it helps to release myself in a way that is hard to explain. I love hugs.

My future is something I don't know. But at times I wish I did.
At times I wish I knew EXACTLY where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do. At times I wish I knew everything about my life.

God knows. Sometimes I wish he would tell me.

And yet...faith would be close to worthless...faith in believing that God will help you through the good and bad. So while at times I wish I knew everything, at times I'm also glad that I don't.

I'm supposed to be a sort of missionary for my school. I know God wants me to do this. The question is...how exactly?


To a friend:

I see you nearly everyday and we talk, and yet I sense a sort of sadness in your being. You claim to believe, and yet doubts arise in my mind that yours claims are merely wishes that you tell yourself over and over. But whom am I to judge? You seem to be on the constant verge of depression, filled with an anguish that seems close to unbearable to you. Why do you fight? Why do you not accept the loving embrace of arms from above? I do not understand. And yet...I think that you are trying to find your own way. You don't want to accept someone who is mighter than you. You do not want to accept a father who loves you more than you could ever understand. Why? Because you do not want to be hurt again. I pray that you will someday be fully clothed with the power of above. I pray that you will read this someday. I pray that you will know who you are. And I ask for forgivness if I am wrong in what I say.


"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30


Pray for me. That I will trust and obey, for there is no other way to be happy with Jesus. Unless I [you] trust and obey.


Love,
Becca =) <3