Of Little Insignificance

and little value and worth. yet Jesus loves me more than I could every understand =)

Allow me to interview myself:

Myself: "How old are you?"
Me: I will be 16 on March 8.

Myself: "What grade are you in?"
Me: I'm a Junior, but supposed to be a sophomore. I skipped a grade ^.^

"Have you ever had a boyfriend, Becca?"
Me: Nope. Never.

Myself: "Really?? And you said you you were a Junior already?"
Me: Yep. Got a problem with that?

erm

oaky so I don't think I like the whole "interviewing myself with myself" sorta thing. Let's instead just talk. One on one. Well...sorta one on one. You get my point.

So I'm a nearly 16 year old girl who has never had a boyfriend. Why? Multiple reasons. For one I do not believe that high school relationships usually last. So why get a boyfriend? All you're gonna have is a bunch of heartache and a puddle of tears to clean up. That isn't saying that I do not WANT to have one, nor is saying that you SHOULDN'T have one. For me personally if God says "here's your boyfriend" then I will gladly except him with open arms. But until then I rather remain single, even if it means I have to be single till I'm an old lady. Whatever be the Lord's will. That's my philosophy.

Junior High/last years of elementary: hated it. Well, no, not hate. Hate is too strong of a word even if you're describing an emotion. I despised and loathed it with a passion. Why? Well for one in 5th and 6th grade I was waaaayyyy out of proportion. I had always been a fairly skinny kid, and so when I suddenly started really shooting up and having my growth spurt I started getting bigger because I hadn't yet lost all of my babyfat. Kinda ironic cause you'd think I'd get smaller since I was growing taller. But I didn't. Then when Junior High started in 7th grade I started thinning out again, and by the time 8th grade came I was back to my skinny self. But those years when I was way out of proportional always bug me because all my pictures look....hideous.
More reasons to not liking Junior High: well, I liked more boys then I care to mention. Which was pretty dumb of me cause I always ended up with a broken heart. I chose the really "cute" guys at the time and usually ignored the ones who had any potential of growing into genuine nice guys. Along these lines I happened to choose a guy who I thought liked me but turns out he was just messing with me...as in a player. *sighs* I didn't get over him for a while. Honestly I do not even count Junior High as much of anything. When you're an adolescent pre-teen/teen you make dumb choices and dumb mistakes. Fortuantely, mine were never too drastic. Just heart wrenchingly annoying.

Moving on.

I admire those who choose to get to know a person before judging them. Don't judge a book by its cover. My cover is shy and what you might find as fairly normal. My shyness I mostly consider a curse, but it's just the way I am so I am learning to use it for God's glory and not my own. Just like how Paul had a "thorn in his flesh". Everyone has thorns, his most likely being his eyesight. He says that God gave him this thorn so that he wouldn't boast about himself but rather about God. God gave me my shyness so that I will learn to glorify Him through it. Still working on that. Those who have truly gotten to know me find that I am not as shy as I first seem, nor as I week as I appear. If you're reading this and you want to argue with that last came, then I request that before you saying anything you get to know me first. Then perhaps you'll not underestimate my statement.
I do not consider myself of any unnatural or flawless beauty. If anything I am but normal in appearance, which has always been hard for me to accept. Most girls want to be considered "gorgeous", and I, unfortunately, am no exception to this steryotype. But I'm working on it. Oftentimes when I look in the mirror and find myself looking at least halfway pretty, I get all happy inside and praise God. I say that in all humbleness. You have to understand that, as I said, I do not consider myself of any unnatural or flawless beauty. So when I do find myself looking nice, it's a good feeling.

Anyways.

I've grown a lot this year. More spiritually then physically, although I am happy to say that I'm in pretty good shape now and when people ask "why are you so skinny? are you anorexic?" I can rightfully say it's because I get a lot of exercise and not just because I have a good metabolism, which was my excuse before.
Back to me and spirituality. God has really helped me through so many things this year. Not saying that he hasn't throughout my life, but maybe now that I am older I've just finally realized it more. If you want more details, read previous blogposts. Those in themselves reveal a lot more.

Despite me feeling as if I'm not super pretty (now don't think I'm trying to make a sob story when I say that! I don't think I'm ugly, and I'm learning to accept my looks for what they are, but I'm definitely no Taylor Swift :P) I have been told by numerous persons that I do have quite a good sadface, if I do say so, which is both fortunate and unfortuante. Fortuante for me, and unfortunate for those (such as my dad) who have to face my sadface. I tend to use it to my advantage when I want something. Bad habit, I know. But it's fun :D Don't really know why I wanted to mention this...

I've realized that our lives are like flowers petals floating in the wind. Wherever we go we can choose to shower a beautiful fragrance on those around us, and be a beacon of happiness in the dark places. Eventually we fade away and become old, and soon afterwards are nothing more than dust that blends in with our surroundings. But while we are floating along the breeze we should use our colors to the fullest to glorify our Creator who gave us our hues.

That's all I gotta really say.

Love,
Becca =)