To Be a Friend

friend (frnd)
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.


These are the basic definitions of a "friend" (according to thefreedictionary.com) I believe that there is a hidden meaning behind the meaning of a friend itself. Think about it...we all have (or most at least have) that one special person who you love dearly, and, no, I am not talking about a crush or a boyfriend/girlfriend, unless of course this is the person who you can honestly call a good friend. Notice I said 'good' friend and not 'best' friend. I purposely did this, not just because 'good' describes friends as overall, but because 'best' is a word you have to be careful when using to describe a friend. Children often use the word 'best' to describe everyone they meet the instant they meet them as long as they take a liking to them. But when you get older 'best' should take on a differnt meaning. Just the same as should 'love'. Love has different meanings, best should as well.

There are four basic levels of friendship. The first level consists of your acquaintances, or people that you met and know but aren't really interested in becoming friends. Next would be your close friends, people who you have met and you know and are friends with to a certain extent, although you don't share much personal information with them. Third would be your good friends (note that 'good' and 'close' could be switched. Really is a matter of opinion), those who you trust and are comfortable with and whom you are not afraid to tell some secrets to. And lastly would be your intimate friends. Now intimate sounds almost...to descriptive. But if you replace the word 'intimate' with 'best' it becomes much more easy to understand. Intimate is what I would think of between a man and a wife. This is why I am saying to label who you call your 'best' friend carefully. Although you do not have to marry your best friend, the understanding of them being your best friend is something you have to think about. For me, a best friend is someone whom I love to be with and whom I would give my life up for in an instant. Not only do I love to be with them, but I also love them dearly as I would a sibling. In a sense your siblings can be labeled as your 'best' friend, and even your parents as well. Most people see their parents and siblings everyday, and although we do tend to get tired of them I am sure we would hate to ultimately see them go. This is how it should be for a best friend. Just as it should also be for a man and wife. And just as it should also be for Jesus.

The mysteries of friends...it is a hard thing to grasp. If you do not dwell deep into the issue you will merely think that "a friend is a friend and nothing more". But it's so much more than that. I believe that Jesus gave us friends so that we could have a view of what He is for us: our ultimate friend. Our worldly friends are just glimpses into the eternal wonder of having God as your best friend. When I think of the ultimate friend I think of someone who isn't afraid to be theirselves around me and who isn't ashamed for me to be myself around them. I think of someone who will love me and stick by me no matter what. I think of someone who would lay down their life for my cause, even if I did not deserve it. In the end, only Jesus can fit these descriptions.

So what am I getting to through all this? I'm saying that who you label as you 'best' friend should really actually be your best friend in your heart. Don't call someone your best friend just because for that particular moment you feel happy being with them, or because they call you their best friend, or because you don't want to hurt their feelings by saying that they are not. Call someone your best friend because you mean it wholeheartedly and sincerely. And then try to be the best friend that you could possibly be. By this I mean do what Jesus would do: show the fruits of the spirit. Be kind, compassionate, joyful, peaceful, patient, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. And then exhibit the qualities of love (1 Corinthians 13). Lastly, be yourself. I do not like it when people are not themselves around me, when they act like somebody else just to try to get on my good side. It doesn't usually work. Of course, I'm not one to talk because I do this a lot too...but I believe it's something we all need to work on.


Love,
Becca =) <3